Unload Your Heavy Burdens
By Jonathan Parker
Have you ever wished you could get free of your nagging negative thoughts and painful emotions?
I have a friend who often says, “Everyone is carrying a load of rocks on their back,” referring to the fact that everyone has negative emotions that weigh them down.
It could be something they worry about; something that creates anxiety; something that depresses them; something that upsets them; or, it could be some issue that they feel trapped by like a relationship or lack of friends, money, or happiness.
Now the interesting thing about the “load of rocks” is that it is very possible to lighten the load and even unload all the rocks, but most people just don’t know how, and a lot of people don’t even believe it is possible.
Here is What I Finally Figured Out…
The first thing to know is that whatever makes up the load you are carrying has underlying beliefs…conclusions and ideas that are like programs causing the situations to perpetuate.
Personally, I found that one of the most difficult things to do was to let go of some of my most cherished beliefs; those beliefs I believed for a long time, and accepted as a matter of fact. Even the very idea of letting them go seemed threatening and scary because I was so convinced they were absolutely true.
The Facts About Beliefs
Beliefs are based on your perceptions or acceptance of what others say is true. However, perceptions are actually just opinions, and not necessarily factual. There are many convincing arguments for every belief and that’s what can make the whole subject seem so confusing, but it really doesn’t need to be as you’ll soon see.
Everyone has fallen into this trap. Me too!
In the past I’ve heard myself say, “I would never give up certain beliefs because they were the foundation I based my life on.” Then a year or two later I found myself saying, “Well, I don’t believe that anymore.” You’ve probably done the same thing.
When you are faced with letting go of a premise you’ve based your life on, it can be world-shattering. This is what keeps people trapped in patterns that limit them. How could you just give them up? Why would you even want to? Should you?
Now, don’t misunderstand me. I’m not telling you to give up all your beliefs. Keep the ones that work for you. I’m suggesting you give up the ones that are causing you pain and struggle. Make sense?
My point here is that beliefs are what you take for granted and accept as true, and they become the forces behind your thinking, emotions, choices, actions, reactions, and what you attract. So, yes, they are pretty important, and very powerful.
What is surprising is that we defend our pain-causing beliefs with a stubbornness that causes them to them to continue. Amazing right? We resist the very things that could help us. Why? Because we are heavily invested in our beliefs, and to give up the hold of a belief means we need to replace it with some other belief. The questions is, how do you that?
You see, you can’t function without beliefs, so beliefs are not the problem. It is when you defend and hold on to limiting and fixed beliefs that you suffer.
In the next blog article I’ll explain what you can do about beliefs that cause suffering and struggling.
Until then, take some time to think about what you believe, and especially what you are sure of.
(You will find part 1 of this series at this link: http://www.jonathanparker.org/jonathans-blog/building-confidence/how-let-go-part-1