Why Do You Self Sabotage?
Have you ever counted the number of times you have been a victim of self sabotage? Maybe you made some stupid mistakes that cost you money, or undermined a relationship, or you keep doing things that compromise your health.
Sometimes even your best efforts result in failures. This seems to happen to just about everyone and it can affect your relationships, your income, and your health, but the big question is why does this happen?
You may not like hearing this, but much of your thinking, decisions, and feelings are automatic reactions from the way you are designed. It’s as if you are programmed to screw things up and sabotage yourself. Here’s what I mean about that…
Why Are You the Way You Are?
You have a personality, right? Your personality contributes significantly to how you interact with people, what you believe to be true including your prejudices, and it is the driving force behind your choices and decisions, but where did it come from?
If you have brothers or sisters you know you have similarities as well as differences. Since you grew up in the same family why are your interests, beliefs, and reactions often different from other family members? Obviously, something besides environment is at work!
There are a number of factors that go into making you the way you are. For instance, you are strongly influenced by your parents and other family members you grew up around. They had their religious beliefs, their values, and their interests. You also observed how they reacted to the news and the ways they were treated. So those are some environmental factors. What else?
Another obvious influence, if not determiner, is through your genetics. Why are some people naturally talented musicians or artists? Often these talents run in families. That’s genetics. But even your interests and reactions can be acquired from your ancestors, or you may have carried them over from previous lives. For instance, if you were an architect or construction engineer in past lives, you’d likely have an interest in something similar in this life and you’d probably find the ability seems to come naturally and easily.
Most of What You Experience is Due to Unconscious Forces
Most of your proclivities tend to be on autopilot operating below the level of your conscious thinking. That is why many of your reactions seem to happen automatically without you planning or thinking. This is also a factor in why you self sabotage. You absorbed programming growing up from watching the people around you and your conclusions submerged into your subconscious.
If your subconscious programming contains superstitious ideas like, “If I succeed I’ll just lose it,” there’s a good chance this will turn out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy of self sabotage.
Many people grow up with self sabotage statements like that in the back of their mind. Here’s a few more:
- Don’t go outside in the cold when you are wet or you’ll get sick.
- Weight loss programs don’t work. I’ll just gain it all back.
- There is something wrong with me.
- No matter what I try, it doesn’t work.
- I seem to have bad luck.
- I’m not talented.
- I’m just like my father/mother.
- I’m shy around people.
- When it comes to my eating habits I can’t help myself.
- I never get a break.
- If something can go wrong, it surely will.
Sometimes you might think these thoughts consciously, but most of the time they operate in your subconscious mind and set you up to self sabotage. Besides these types of programs running your life there is another really influential force at work.
There’s More to This Story
As if everything I’ve already listed weren’t enough to cause you to self sabotage, there is another strong force you have to contend with. There is a part of your brain called your primitive brain or brain stem. We all have one. It is also called the reptilian brain and it is out to get you! Below are five characteristics of how your own brain often works against you and causes you to self sabotage.
1. You Must Survive. If your safety or security is under attack, without even thinking a fear response is triggered and you do whatever is necessary to move into a more safe situation.
You don’t even have to think before you react when you are threatened. The drive to feel more safe and secure is one of the strongest human drives.
2. Avoid or Confront. When you feel a threat, a reptilian brain response if to either resist and oppose the source of the threat, or do everything you can to avoid the conflict including running away. Sometimes this is referred to as fight or flight.
3. Rage and Anger. When you are blocked from getting what you want you may feel an automatic emotion of rage well up inside of you. Your blood pressure goes up, your heart beats faster, and you have an almost uncontrollable urge to hit someone or something. Your stress hormones kick in so you can more effectively either fight or flee. Also, notice the word “Danger” is just a “D” in front of anger. When you perceive danger, you may also feel anger besides fear.
4. Confrontations and Attacks Create Fear. Some fears are learned such as not touching a hot stove, while some others seem to be instinctual. As a result you seem to naturally react with fear to spiders, insects, animals, and people whom you feel threatened by whether that is realistic or not.
Fear is a major source of self sabotage because it not only may cause you to make foolish decisions, but it can also cause you to avoid situations that could prove beneficial such as public speaking, asking someone on a date, or taking a risk that could be beneficial. Fear can also create a freeze response that immobilizes you and prevents you from moving forward in life.
5. Vengence or desire for revenge is retaliation or getting even when you are injured or something is taken from you. This can include the desire to inflict injury, harm, or humiliation on a person who harmed you: This causes people to punish those who are different from them or who hurt them. This leads to hatred.
These are five of the ways you naturally tend to react to negative situations. Sometimes you find yourself reacting and you wonder where the reaction came from because it kicked in before you even thought about it. You can shift from feeling like everything is OK, to suddenly feeling yourself reacting negatively automatically. It can happen seamlessly in a matter of seconds.
What is the Solution to All These Forces?
So many of your seemingly natural and automatic reactions seem to set you up for self sabotage, however, what you may not know (and not many do), is that you can transform all those reactions into acceptance, peace, and security. I’m not talking about coping techniques. I’m talking about permanently eliminating all negative reactions.
I discovered something remarkable quite by accident…
This happened over 40 years ago when I was meditating several hours a day.
I found the brain can be re-wired to automatically make you feel peaceful, patient, and loving instead of those other annoying and negative reactions. I wasn’t specifically trying to develop positive feelings, they came as a byproduct from the type of proactive meditations I was doing. I was retraining my mind through visualizations and positive affirmations.
It all comes down to an upward shift in raising consciousness and vibration so that you quite literally live above the storms. The way you do it is by releasing every negative memory while in a meditative state. All your reactions are a result of subtle-energy thoughtforms that contain beliefs, emotions, and memories, and the good news is they can be removed and cleared. When you do that successfully, you’ll automatically enable your soul to emerge and take over more of your personality resulting in having the life you want.
The 5 Clearing Steps are Really Quite Simple
1. You identify and acknowledge the negative memory or reaction
2. You declare you no longer accept it in your life (Dis-Identification)
3. You state you surrender and release all holding and need for it.
4. You apply one or more subtle-energy releasing techniques
5. You invite in the light of your soul to replace what was released.
I suggest making this practice something you do every evening before falling asleep. Review your day and clear any negative reactions or self sabotage.
When people ask me about becoming enlightened I tell them not to worry about that. Get yourself clear and then you will not only discover enlightenment, but you will keep it.
What You Don’t Know Can Self Sabotage You
Everyone has core issues to clear and your first step is that you need to discover them before you can clear them. I have a short program to help you with that called, “Discover Your Core Issues.” This program helps you identify more than 100 potential core issues that create blocks, lack, limitations, and self sabotage. Check it out.
Isn’t it About Time You Started Living an Enlightened Life?
Today more than ever, people are searching high and low for detailed explanations and guidance on how to find relief from their struggles and self sabotage, and find lasting happiness and peace. What they are searching for is understanding what is enlightenment, and what they can do to attain it.
My book, Handbook for Enlightenment & Ascension gives you the answers you have been searching for and you’ll come away with a deep understanding of enlightenment and ascension, as well as techniques to accelerate attaining both. This book is now available only on Amazon.