How to Let Go, Finally
Haven’t you sometimes felt trapped and unable to figure out how to let go and break free from your past? I often hear people say, “Is this going to go on forever?” Do you know the feeling? I remember going through the same thing myself, and the fact is we’ve all been through pain and struggles in the past.
Because your present and future is built on your past, it is essential that you learn how to let go of the forces controlling your life.
The shadow of your past looms over you in the form of betrayals, bad choices, a partner who let you down, sad memories, past injustices, nagging guilt, old losses, etc.
The Key on How to Let Go
I have found that the challenge of how to let go lies in the resistance everyone has to doing that, because change is always uncomfortable at first. It may seem remarkable that a person would choose something painful over change, but from experience I know that is precisely what happens. One reason for this is that the ego aspect of your mind projects that the future outcome might be worse than the current status, so it holds on to what is painful.
The key on how to let go means challenging irrational thinking until you get your head on straight; it means facing fears and facing them down; and confronting your relentless attachments to a painful past to reduce it.
The Load You Carry
I have a friend who often says, “Everyone is carrying a load of rocks on their back.” Of course, he doesn’t mean a literal load of rocks. He’s referring to the fact that everyone has something that weighs them down. It could be something they worry about; something that creates anxiety; something that depresses them; something that makes them mad; or, it could be that they feel trapped by a relationship or lack of friends, money, or happiness.
Now the interesting thing about the “load of rocks” is that it is very possible to lighten the load and even unload all the rocks, but most people just don’t know how, and a lot of people don’t even believe it is possible.
What I Finally Figured Out…
The first thing to know is that whatever makes up the load you are carrying has underlying beliefs—conclusions and ideas that are like programs causing the situations to perpetuate.
One of the most difficult things on how to let go are your most cherished beliefs; those beliefs you’ve believed for a long time, and accepted as a matter of fact. Even the very idea of letting them go seems threatening and scary because you are so convinced they are absolutely true.
Beliefs are Not Facts
Beliefs are based on your perceptions or acceptance of what others say is true. However, perceptions are actually just opinions, and not necessarily factual. There are many convincing arguments for every belief and that is what can make the whole subject seem so confusing, but it really doesn’t need to be as you’ll soon see. Everyone has fallen into this trap!
In the past I’ve heard people say, “I would never give up certain beliefs because they are the foundation I base my life on.” But then a year or two later I hear them saying, “Well, I don’t believe that anymore.” If your beliefs were absolute facts, how could you possibly ever change your beliefs? Yet, everyone does. You certainly don’t believe everything you believed when you were a child, or several years ago. Everyone is constantly modifying beliefs based on new or additional information.
When you are faced with letting go of a premise you’ve based your life on, it can be like an earthquake shaking you up. This is what keeps people trapped in patterns that limit them. How could you just give them up? Why would you even want to?
Now, don’t misunderstand me. I’m not telling you to give up all your beliefs. Keep the ones that work for you. I’m suggesting you give up the ones that are causing you pain and struggle. Make sense?
My point here is that beliefs are what you take for granted and accept as true, and they become the forces behind your thinking, choices, reactions, emotions, actions, and what you attract. So, yes, they are pretty important, and certainly powerful.
What is surprising is that you may be defending your pain-causing beliefs with a stubbornness that causes them to them to continue. Amazing right? You resist the very things that could help you. Why? Because you are heavily invested in your beliefs, and to give up the hold of a belief means you need to replace it with some other belief. The question is, how do you that?
You see, you can’t function without beliefs, so beliefs are not the problem. It is when you hold on to fixed beliefs that you can get in trouble.
Your Beliefs Shape Your Life
What if what you believe is what is causing your life to be trapped, stuck, limited, confused, painful, lonely, depressed, angry, or fearful? All of those symptoms are actually caused by certain types of beliefs…beliefs that keep you trapped in a box defined by those beliefs.
When I was much younger I thought I knew a lot of things for sure. There were a lot of things I would say I believed in and was certain of, but now I see things with new eyes, and I have often come to different conclusions.
Beliefs are not always based on facts even though most people think they are.
Basically, beliefs are opinions people base their lives on. Some opinions are based on facts and some aren’t, but either way, they form the cornerstones of what a person assumes and accepts.
Now, What Do We Do About This?
Well, the first thing you have to do is figure out what the belief is underlying the problem you are facing. So, you start with the symptom you want to get rid of. Let’s say it is that you get angry sometimes and say or do things you later regret. Now what could be an underlying belief that is causing that?
Anger arises when you can’t control someone or some thing such as a strong position that situations or people should be different. For instance, you want people to be kind, honest, and fair, but sometimes they aren’t. Think of your situation and listen to your inner voices about it, and you will discover you have certain beliefs that are fueling it. Usually it will contain such words as, should, must, have to, need, should not, etc.
Now you might say, “Yes, but I’m right.” Maybe you are in certain respects, but something is not right with your position or you wouldn’t be angry or in pain about it. Isn’t that right?
What if you decided to take a position that other people have a right to think differently from you? That could be a new belief and while it doesn’t condone what they think or do, it does free you from becoming upset about them.
Is that All There Is to It?
That might sound simple enough, but I know it is not quite as easy as saying you will just change your mind. You see if you have been living with a particular belief or point of view for a long time, your mind usually won’t know how to let go or change. Why? Because it is in your subconscious mind as well as your conscious mind, and this is where meditation, visualizations, and affirmations come in.
Let’s say you are troubled financially, health wise, or with a relationship. Isn’t what you are dealing with something that arose from your past? You bet. Now that is actually the best news you could hear, because the past is really just composed of memories and nothing more. That means that the forces you are dealing with can be changed in the present. Here’s what I mean.
I want you to think about this.
Everything you think about yourself and your life including all of your successes and failures, all of your relationships, all of your business ventures, all of your spiritual endeavors, are based on your perceptions, assumptions, and conclusions about your past.
When you explore your beliefs in a relaxed state you can effect important life-altering changes because you will have deeper access to your subconscious mind. So, if you go back to exploring whatever issue is bothering you while you are in a relaxed state, and you discover the underlying beliefs associated with it, you’ll be able to let go and transform the foundation of your life.
The Origins of Your Beliefs
Believe it or not, childhood perceptions are what have been preventing you from making the breakthroughs you would like to have in essentially every area of your life. And, these factors will continue limiting you for the rest of your life unless you take positive steps to change them. That’s just the way it works.
I know, coming face-to-face with the reality that beliefs acquired from childhood underlie most difficulties can be somewhat shocking; but it is true, the conclusions you came to as a child formed the assumptions that have been running your life ever since.
Wow, when you realize that fact it can be quite unsettling to say the least. Don’t you agree?
How Did Your Beliefs Get There?
Clearly, repetition is the principal method that you were indoctrinated with from the time you were a child. In other words, you heard the same things over and over, and witnessed the same things over and over, and told yourself the same things over and over again, reinforcing your limiting beliefs, lack, unworthiness, low expectations, bad luck, not deserving, and many other types of negative programming.
How to Let Go
Visualizations and mental imaging can actually pattern new neural pathways through the brain and establish new automatic reactions. These techniques can be utilized in a wide variety of applications from reducing stress and tension, improving athletic performance and job performance, controlling weight, and improving health, to establishing a positive and successful self image, improving relationships, releasing heightened creativity, and even enhancing spiritual practices. So it covers the full spectrum of all the areas you would like to improve.
All of the ideas and beliefs you hold create aspects of who you think you are. In other words, you use them to define yourself. These are called your identities because you identify yourself with them. These identities were established out of beliefs that you needed them. This usually happened without much conscious thought, but it was processed subconsciously.
There are a number of ways of going about eliminating limiting identities. One key, of course, is to start by disidentifying yourself from the limiting belief. What that means is you acknowledge the belief and then affirm, “I am not that, and I release all need to hold on to it.”
The key to succeeding with the release is dependent on you going deep into any belief you need it, as well as any feeling that it has any relevance in your life. When you let go to this depth of everything that has been convincing you the pattern is part of you, the identity then looses its grip, and finally lets go and disappears.
Now, I know that is not the easiest thing to do on your own, so I’ve created several inexpensive programs specifically on this subject. It is essential that you break free from your past, or you will be destined to repeat your past until you do let go.
Let Go of the Past ($97 My most comprehensive program on how to let go)